Defining a Date
On New Year's Eve, I remember telling someone that my one goal was to have a date in 2006. These past few years have been a drought in my social life and the longer I'm out of the dating scene, the less inclined I feel to join it. It seems easier somehow to just be on my own, trying to make my way in the world without someone there beside me. I'm not a risk-taker and dating is itself a risk. So I've taken the easy way out and just not dated. (I also have some self-confidence issues that contribute to my avoidance of dating, but that's another entry.)
Anyway, could it be possible that I've met my goal for 2006 just five days into the New Year?
The only way to answer this question is to define what constitutes a date. Is it just two people of the opposite sex (or the same sex, depending on one's preferences) spending a nice evening together? Is it dinner and a movie? Is it sex?
I've wondered about this a lot lately. Is a date, in fact, just semantics? Do you have to think it's a date beforehand for it to be a date? Does it have to entail a physical act (hand-holding, kissing, etc.)?
Depending on how you define a date, I might have just been on one. Or it could have just been a nice evening with a friend. I'm not sure. Whatever it was, I had a nice time.
I think I'll just pretend it was a date to take some of the pressure off the new year. Then again, I could think it wasn't a date so I don't jinx it.
This post isn't as coherent as I like my entries to be, but it's a topic I'd like to hear other opinions on. What, to you, constitutes a date? Let me know so I can figure out if I've had one.
Anyway, could it be possible that I've met my goal for 2006 just five days into the New Year?
The only way to answer this question is to define what constitutes a date. Is it just two people of the opposite sex (or the same sex, depending on one's preferences) spending a nice evening together? Is it dinner and a movie? Is it sex?
I've wondered about this a lot lately. Is a date, in fact, just semantics? Do you have to think it's a date beforehand for it to be a date? Does it have to entail a physical act (hand-holding, kissing, etc.)?
Depending on how you define a date, I might have just been on one. Or it could have just been a nice evening with a friend. I'm not sure. Whatever it was, I had a nice time.
I think I'll just pretend it was a date to take some of the pressure off the new year. Then again, I could think it wasn't a date so I don't jinx it.
This post isn't as coherent as I like my entries to be, but it's a topic I'd like to hear other opinions on. What, to you, constitutes a date? Let me know so I can figure out if I've had one.
6 Comments:
There are many things a date can be:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Date
I love wikipedia!
I think that if you had fun and he had fun, and you want to do it again, its a date.
I had fun...I wonder if he had fun.
I'm not going to fret. I'll just roll with the punches.
Okay, I say there's two kinds of dates.
The first kind would be an escort of sorts to a specific event, like a prom or a wedding. This kind can be platonic. The only real qualification would be that the two people are explicitly at the event together.
The second kind is that two people go out where there is an understood potential at the beginning of the date that there is potential for a more-than-platonic relationship some time in the future. In other words, at the beginning of the date, each person has to have the understanding that there is atleast a small possibility that it could be the beginning of a relationship.
If it's a group outing, it's still a date if, like in the first date definition, the two people are explicitly there together as a date.
Note: for those fans of "Say Anything", it's not a date if one person doesn't realize it's a date or even that the other person even exists.
I'm not sure if these definitions make sense or are correct, so don't hold me to them. Consider them a first draft.
Wow, Tom. You've really given this issue some thought, huh?
My boss heard me talking to some girls in the office about this and he made a good point. "What difference does it make whether it was a date or not?" I guess very little. But if it leads to other could-be dates, I'm totally going to shave my legs the next time. :)
I have given this issue a very small amount of thought. Wasn't it obvious? It's just that, after spending so much time around Bill, I've unwittingly picked up his inability to write short.
(This fulfills the requirement that all posts in any blog that Matt and I both comment on must contain at least one knock on Bill.)
I disagree with the boss, Susie. I think it matters if it's date because, plain and simple, you wanted it to be a date. So, if we can figure out whether or not it WAS a date, you can prepare better mentally next time, and even shave your legs!
For the record, if you can nail him down to a Friday or Saturday event, I think in that case, it's definitely a date.
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