The Demise of Common Courtesy
What the hell has happened to common courtesy?
Let's say you've made plans with someone. Sadly, the other person finds he has to work late and, in a very gentlemanly way, says he's going to be later than he thought. You so OK, just call me later to let me know what's going on.
SEVEN HOURS LATER (after a single restrained text message gently questioning if he was still working) he calls you to say he WENT OUT WITH PEOPLE FROM WORK!
Let's forget for a moment that I got royally screwed in this deal. I did homework and laundry and was generally productive all night, but I always felt like I was waiting for something (mainly for the cell phone to ring). I didn't go to the grocery store because I wasn't sure what my plans were; I didn't do my 45-minute total body core workout because I didn't want to shower again. Instead I sat home alone, trying not to wonder when the phone would ring.
But all that aside, I wonder what happened at a more basic, humane level. What happened to just common courtesy? What happened to doing what you said you were going to do? What happened to just being nice to people? To me, being stood up is just not good manners. It doesn't matter if it's coming from a boyfriend or from a friend--a broken date is one of the largest of social no-nos.
I didn't answer the phone when he called and I haven't called him back. How do you tell someone how hurt you are, how lonely you feel knowing that people from work take higher billing that I do? How do you tell someone that even if you're just going to be friends, some kind of respect for each other has to be established?
Basically, how do you tell someone that they just have to respect you as a human being and recognize that you have feelings?
Right now, I'm taking the chicken-shit way out and not saying anything. If he wants to talk to me, he knows how to reach me. But when he does decide to talk to me, I think I'll have to give him my list of demands:
Just have a little courtesy.
Let's say you've made plans with someone. Sadly, the other person finds he has to work late and, in a very gentlemanly way, says he's going to be later than he thought. You so OK, just call me later to let me know what's going on.
SEVEN HOURS LATER (after a single restrained text message gently questioning if he was still working) he calls you to say he WENT OUT WITH PEOPLE FROM WORK!
Let's forget for a moment that I got royally screwed in this deal. I did homework and laundry and was generally productive all night, but I always felt like I was waiting for something (mainly for the cell phone to ring). I didn't go to the grocery store because I wasn't sure what my plans were; I didn't do my 45-minute total body core workout because I didn't want to shower again. Instead I sat home alone, trying not to wonder when the phone would ring.
But all that aside, I wonder what happened at a more basic, humane level. What happened to just common courtesy? What happened to doing what you said you were going to do? What happened to just being nice to people? To me, being stood up is just not good manners. It doesn't matter if it's coming from a boyfriend or from a friend--a broken date is one of the largest of social no-nos.
I didn't answer the phone when he called and I haven't called him back. How do you tell someone how hurt you are, how lonely you feel knowing that people from work take higher billing that I do? How do you tell someone that even if you're just going to be friends, some kind of respect for each other has to be established?
Basically, how do you tell someone that they just have to respect you as a human being and recognize that you have feelings?
Right now, I'm taking the chicken-shit way out and not saying anything. If he wants to talk to me, he knows how to reach me. But when he does decide to talk to me, I think I'll have to give him my list of demands:
Just have a little courtesy.
1 Comments:
Yeah, that sucks. Let me be the first to put him in the "not worth it" category--as a potential smooching buddy, or as a friend.
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