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Read at your own risk.
What I want to know right now--in this very minute--is what the hell is the matter with men? Why is it that one guy in particular can sit right in front of a girl (albeit a not-out-of-the-ordinary girl), a girl he's spent more than seven hours on the phone with in the past month alone, a girl he's called three times in two days, and say something like, "I really just want a relationship like in 'When Harry Met Sally,' someone I can buy a Christmas tree with or go out shopping with. I don't have anyone like that right now."
Pardon me, but what the fuck? I have logged more hours with this guy, just shopping and hanging out, than any other man of my acquaintance (excluding Hoss, I think). He's helping me shop for living room furniture! He calls me when he leaves work or when he's driving somewhere at night or when something big has happened. He's become the one constant in my social life. Somehow I thought he at least considered me a close friend, but I was so very very wrong.
I have the bad habit of blaming myself when things like this happen. I've tried to keep my expectations low, but damn! I can't stand being tossed to the side like I'm an inconsequential shit. I'm so tired of this. Why is it that people spend time with me, but don't see me? It's like I'm there but they just don't notice that a human being is sitting across the porch from them, trying to find a little crevice of their life to squeeze into? Or maybe he just doesn't want me there. I don't get it. I can't change things like how I look or my personality. If the Susie he knows now isn't good enough, then screw him. Screw all of it.
What a letdown. In a matter of seconds I discovered two things:
1. I had secretly thought he was my Harry
2. I'm totally not good enough to be his Sally.
Stupid boys.
What I want to know right now--in this very minute--is what the hell is the matter with men? Why is it that one guy in particular can sit right in front of a girl (albeit a not-out-of-the-ordinary girl), a girl he's spent more than seven hours on the phone with in the past month alone, a girl he's called three times in two days, and say something like, "I really just want a relationship like in 'When Harry Met Sally,' someone I can buy a Christmas tree with or go out shopping with. I don't have anyone like that right now."
Pardon me, but what the fuck? I have logged more hours with this guy, just shopping and hanging out, than any other man of my acquaintance (excluding Hoss, I think). He's helping me shop for living room furniture! He calls me when he leaves work or when he's driving somewhere at night or when something big has happened. He's become the one constant in my social life. Somehow I thought he at least considered me a close friend, but I was so very very wrong.
I have the bad habit of blaming myself when things like this happen. I've tried to keep my expectations low, but damn! I can't stand being tossed to the side like I'm an inconsequential shit. I'm so tired of this. Why is it that people spend time with me, but don't see me? It's like I'm there but they just don't notice that a human being is sitting across the porch from them, trying to find a little crevice of their life to squeeze into? Or maybe he just doesn't want me there. I don't get it. I can't change things like how I look or my personality. If the Susie he knows now isn't good enough, then screw him. Screw all of it.
What a letdown. In a matter of seconds I discovered two things:
1. I had secretly thought he was my Harry
2. I'm totally not good enough to be his Sally.
Stupid boys.
6 Comments:
Frankly, Susie, that would have been the perfect moment to just slap him. Then, in the moment he's too stunned to talk, say something like "that sounds like our relationship".
It is possible that he said it just to gauge your reaction. I could suggest that he was possibly even hoping you would do what I suggest above, minus the slap, but the guy doesn't seem that bright.
I was so mad at him, I probably could have slapped him. He kept saying, "Do you know what I mean?" And I was all like, "I'm not sure," but inside I kept thinking, "You must mean that you're an asshole!"
I'm glad it was dark. I kept shooting him looks of death. For a professional communicator, I sure am terrible at expressing myself verbally when I'm angry or sad. So the suggested slap would have been great. BAM! He'd REALLY know how I felt!
Well, I didn't mean an angry slap. I meant a snap-out-of-it slap. Just hard enough that he would listen and give actual thoughts to the words that would follow.
The slap without the right words following would just be you venting, which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, just less constructive.
C'mon Tom - let Susie bitch-slap him. It'll be entertaining. :)
I can start my own reality TV show: Susie Smackdown. Then I could bitch-slap whomever I want AND entertain the world at the same time!
If you are going to slap him at least give me a heads up so I can hide somewhere and videotape it for the out of towners.
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