Pausing for Punctuation
Let us pause for a moment and give thought to what I'm beginning to believe is the most overused punctuation mark in the English language. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I'm talking about the exclamation point!
When used correctly, exclamation points are the greatest thing. They express emotion:
I love you!
You suck!
He told me I was ugly!
But this paragraph, which I stumbled on when looking at home listings, has robbed me of any exclamation enthusiasm I ever had:
"BEST BUY! GREAT CONDITION! FORMAL LR&DR! CHARMING ARCHES! GREAT SUNPORCH OFF KITCHEN! SPACIOUS BEDROOMS! LEVEL YARD! WALK TO BUS & SHOPPING! BRING OFFERS! FOREST HILLS POOL INCLUDED"
Why, dear God? WHY? Not only is the realtor yelling at me, but she's yelling at me super-enthusiastically. (Also, the only time she doesn't use any punctuation is at the end of the write-up--where she needs it.) I literally backed away from my monitor, like this big bubble of perkiness was going to explode out of my iMac and smash my face into a thousand itty bitty pieces. Sheesh. I actually don't want to look at this place now. Too many exclamation points hiding in its dark corners.
I think it's just become too easy to use the exclamation. My "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" day-by-day calendar entry for today says, "Of my own exclamation-mark history (which is not one to be proud of) all I can clearly recollect of its early days is that the standard keyboard of a manual typewriter in the 1970s--on which I did my first typing--did not offer an exclamation mark. You had to type a full stop, then back-space and type an apostrophe on top of it."
I think if the perky realtor's clients were wise, they'd break into her office and steal the "!" key from her keyboard. Sure, she wouldn't be able to type any "1"s ever again, but think of the lasting benefit to all humankind!
(Crap. Now I'm guilty, too.)
When used correctly, exclamation points are the greatest thing. They express emotion:
I love you!
You suck!
He told me I was ugly!
But this paragraph, which I stumbled on when looking at home listings, has robbed me of any exclamation enthusiasm I ever had:
"BEST BUY! GREAT CONDITION! FORMAL LR&DR! CHARMING ARCHES! GREAT SUNPORCH OFF KITCHEN! SPACIOUS BEDROOMS! LEVEL YARD! WALK TO BUS & SHOPPING! BRING OFFERS! FOREST HILLS POOL INCLUDED"
Why, dear God? WHY? Not only is the realtor yelling at me, but she's yelling at me super-enthusiastically. (Also, the only time she doesn't use any punctuation is at the end of the write-up--where she needs it.) I literally backed away from my monitor, like this big bubble of perkiness was going to explode out of my iMac and smash my face into a thousand itty bitty pieces. Sheesh. I actually don't want to look at this place now. Too many exclamation points hiding in its dark corners.
I think it's just become too easy to use the exclamation. My "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" day-by-day calendar entry for today says, "Of my own exclamation-mark history (which is not one to be proud of) all I can clearly recollect of its early days is that the standard keyboard of a manual typewriter in the 1970s--on which I did my first typing--did not offer an exclamation mark. You had to type a full stop, then back-space and type an apostrophe on top of it."
I think if the perky realtor's clients were wise, they'd break into her office and steal the "!" key from her keyboard. Sure, she wouldn't be able to type any "1"s ever again, but think of the lasting benefit to all humankind!
(Crap. Now I'm guilty, too.)