The Muppet Show

Tonight I watched an episode of the The Muppet Show on DVD and what a pleasant surprise! Sometimes I watch things now that I loved in my childhood and I can't understand what I was thinking back then. So when I put the DVD in, I was a little nervous. But I shouldn't have worried--I laughed my ass off. The great thing about the Muppets still remains that they appeal to all ages. When I was little, I loved Kermit and the fuzzy animals they had on the show, along with the great music. Now, Statler and Waldorf's comments had me rolling on the floor, and I notice more the subtle humor that kids wouldn't get, but adults would love.

Anyway, I really just wanted to ask Defying Gravity readers: who is you favorite Muppet and why? Has that Muppet been your favorite since childhood, or has it changed. If it's changed, why?

I'll get things started. My favorite Muppet is Rowlf The Dog. I love the way he plays the piano and sings. The idea of a dog hammering out classical, jazz and anything in between on an old upright cracks me up. Rowlf hasn't always been the it guy with me, though. I used to love Piggy and Kermit. But a few years ago, I saw the Muppet Movie again for the first time in about 20 years, and I fell in love with Rowlf when he sang "I Hope That Something Better Comes Along." He's just got so much soul! Arf!

The Top Ten Ways To Know You've Watched Too Much of "The West Wing" (Season One) Too Quickly

10. You click on the headline for an article about the president and are confused when a photo of George W. Bush appears on the screen instead of Josiah Bartlet. You momentarily wonder if you missed the election. Who is this cowboy in the White House and where is everyone's favorite democrat from New Hampshire?

9. When a minor crisis arises at work (e.g., the possibility of heavy rain showers three days hence), you marvel at the hubbub in the office and silently think, "If they want a crisis, they should have seen the action in the Oval Office last night."

8. You wear a bracelet inscribed with "WWTD" for those communications emergencies when you have to stop and ask yourself "What would Toby do?"

7. You create your own Secret Service name, like "Penguin." When you get up from your desk, you whisper "Penguin is on the move. I repeat, Penguin is on the move," into your pretend hand-held communication device.

6. You can't attend any lecture or event about India without dwelling on how they've just invaded Pakistan. You also wonder why the Indian ambassador addressing the crowd looks nothing like the one you saw in the Oval Office last night.*

5. You have dreams about Sam Seaborn and wake up thinking he could be the one man you've been waiting for. (Sam, that is. Not Rob Lowe.)

4. You want to be the press secretary so you can have the cutest flirting relationship with a charming reporter in the history of the White House.

3. You start shouting commands like "Mrs. Landingham, I need the next five minutes the president's got!" while strewing folders about the office as you run down the corridor.

2. You consider moving to Washington to be a high-class call girl because it obviously pays better than your current salary and, if you're good enough, it will get you into a presidential State Dinner.

1. You actually wrote this list.

The first person who knows which of these are actually true wins the prize. Hint: there's more than one. I desperately need to call the cable company so I can get more than one station and stop with this four-episode-a-night kick I've been on.

(*Please note that India has not really invaded Pakistan in the real world; only in the West Wing world.)

Katrina and the Waves

When I visited New Orleans a few summers ago, I was lucky enough to partake of the good kind of hurricane--the fruity, rummy one that knocks you on your ass pretty damn quick if you're not paying attention (especially if it's a hot day and you're swigging them back like Kool-Aid). But as I look at pictures of the Big Easy this morning, I thank God I didn't encounter any other kind of hurricane while I was there.

In the eternal scheme of things, the emotion and ideas imparted here on Defying Gravity mean little. But if you're reading this today or sometime in the next week, send some positive energy and prayers to the folks in Louisiana and the rest of the Gulf Coast who will probably soon return to homes that have been devastated by wind and rain. They face years of just trying to get their lives back the way they were before Katrina attacked this morning. We might get some rain in Pittsburgh (and we'll probably make it more tragic than it really will be), but nothing compares to the devastation in the south.

Let's hope when all is said and done, those who weathered the storm in NOLA will soon be sitting in the sunshine, sipping hurricanes--the good kind.

There Goes My Life

Gray skies and steady showers reflect my mood today. And sadly, the bleak mood isn't just because it's Monday and the work week has begun again. No, the outlook is much more grim. Today marks the beginning of the fall semester and the end of any kind of life I was starting to have.

I suppose I should be more positive. It's only nine more months of my time and I'll be able to add another degree to the ol' resume. But I've really come to enjoy the quiet freedom of my life. Since I've moved out on my own, I've developed a nice routine and now I resent the fact that I have to break from it. I've taken to walking quite a bit--about 3 or 3.5 miles a night, if I have the time. I don't race myself like I used to, but instead I relax as I motor through the neighborhood, checking out the pretty houses and well-tended flowerbeds. (Occasionally I "bump into" my cute neighbor on purpose.) Usually I make myself a nice dinner and watch a movie or some TV. I read a lot, or I hang out with friends. I chat on the phone. In short, I do my own thing.

Now, though, I have to be a student again and I absolutely hate the idea of it. Usually I don't dread classes this much, but this semester I'm taking two classes PLUS sitting in on a seminar AND serving on Staff Council. To make sure I get all my work hours in, I have to work from 7:30 a.m. until 5 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I have a night class on Mondays and Wednesdays. There's goes my walk! There goes dinner! There goes my freedom! There goes my life!

Sigh. I hope it rains all day so I can feel justified in my gloominess.

To Get This Out of My Head

I can't get this song out of my head. I hope posting the lyrics makes it go away so I can sleep. It's haunting me for some reason...new beginnings or old endings. Not sure which. But something here resonates with me. Maybe I'm just psycho or losing my mind in the hot southern sun. Anyway, good song. Legally download it from iTunes if you get the chance.

Forget About It
--Allison Krauss

Forget about it
I'm admittin' I was wrong
And I'll just take what's mine
And walk right out the door
Forget about it
I'll split and I'll be gone
And you'll have memories
You'll find hard to ignore

'Cause after all
I see you sometime
Maybe when I can't recall
How you drove me crazy...

Forget about it
When forever's over
I won't remember how muchI loved you anymore
Forget about it
Put me out of your head
Now that you're free and easy
Out there on the town
Forget about it
When you're lying in bed just wishing
I was there to lay you down

'Cause after all
I'll see you sometime maybe
When you will recall
How I drove you crazy

Forget about those starry nights
Laying by the fireside, holding you tight
I can't remember when I felt so right
So just forget about it

Forget about it
When you see me on the street
Don't wink, don't wave
Don't try to tease me with your smile
Forget about it
If we chance to meet somewhere
Don't think it's cause I'm trying to reconcile

'Cause after all
I'll see you sometime maybe
When I can't recall
How you drove me crazy

Forget about those starry nights
Laying by the fireside, holding you tight
I can't remember when I felt so right
So just forget about it...

Good Night Irene

So later today I head to North Carolina to visit a friend stationed at Marine Corps Air Station New River (or something like that). It's always great to see him, but it doesn't hurt that he's less than an hour from my favorite place in the universe: Emerald Isle, NC. Desperately in need of a vacation, I booked a flight two weeks ago and told him to watch out because I was coming. Classes start up again in two weeks and I can't handle the grueling three months that are the fall semester without a little preemptive R&R. Even sitting by his apartment complex's pool, reading the copy of "Pride and Prejudice" I'm determined to appreciate, would be a fantastic break from the monotony of my normal daily routine. (Disclaimer: this does not mean I hate my job. It just means that the day-to-day of it gets a little wearing after a while.)

Anyway, my Marine friend calls me today and says that Tropical Storm Irene might be spreading her love around the Carolina Coast early next week--right in the middle of my vaykay. I say "I thought she was going to pose zero threat to the USA and would pitter away into nothing in the middle of the Atlantic." He pauses. "Susie," he says, "haven't you been watching the Weather Channel."

No I HAVEN'T been watching the Weather Channel because I don't have friggin' cable thanks to stupid Comcast and their overly ambitious cable technicians. But that's a different story.

Turns out that if Irene goes above a category 2 hurricane my Marine friend has to fly his helicopter to safety in some non-coastal location, leaving me all alone in Jacksonville, NC, with nothing to keep me company except his big screen TV and the howling winds threatening to break through the windows and scare the hell out of me.

So, Defying Gravity readers, I ask you this teensy favor as you head into your weekends: think positive thoughts about Irene moving into the Atlantic and missing the East Coast entirely. Project images of a storm-free ocean in the general direction of North Carolina. Or, if you hear of a bad storm approaching that area, at least have a good chuckle thinking of me huddled alone in a strange apartment in a strange place 600 miles from home, riding out the storm with nothing but a television to protect me. My luck, the cable will be the first thing to go.

Overwhelmed by Problems?

Then ladies and gentlemen, I have just the solution for you. To forget about all those nagging issues--the paycheck that won't stretch any further, the bills that won't stop clogging up your mailbox, the job that is going nowhere--just wear uncomfortable underwear! I know it works for me. Walking down the street, I don't stare into my somewhat foggy future and try to uncover its vast secrets. No siree. I'm too preoccupied wondering if I'm going to lose my undies to worry about anything else. With each step I take, the elastic in the waistband gets looser and looser and I get closer and closer to accidentally showing the world my gutchies. Now that's a REAL problem!

Huh

Stories like these make me believe in humanity again--and make me more than a little ashamed of complaining about losing my free cable.

New Neighbors and the Cable Conspiracy

If anyone out there in Defying Gravity land knows me, they know that two new tenants have moved into my six-unit apartment building in the past few weeks. Now, it's bad enough that both are vegans with bumperstickers telling the world not to eat meat. One of the girls has a bumper sticker that reads "Bush Gives P*##! a Bad Name," and the other has a yippy Jack Russell Terrier that barks at his own shadow. Now, to make matters even worse, one of them has ruined the deal I had going for my cable TV.

When I moved in, I immediately had cable. Hooked the TV up and there it was. Did it just come with the apartment? Who knows. I enjoyed it because I knew it wouldn't last. Like my dad recently told me, "Life will always come up and bite you in the butt, Susie. Get used to having a sore ass." Well, today that ass ache worsened when I came home and turned on the TV to static. Yes, that's right. My cable was gone like yesterday.

I know that as a law-abiding citizen, I've been wrong to assume cable was just a perk of the building. But cable is expensive and I'm broke. As I sat and stared at the snow on my screen earlier tonight, I thought, "I can do this. I can live without TV." But then, five minutes later I thought "Who the hell am I kidding? I can't live a week without TV!" I can't live without "30 Minute Meals" or "Design on a Dime." I can't bear an existence without "Desperate Housewives" or even "Jeopardy." Right now, I'm watching "Sense and Sensibility" just to give myself some company while I type. I have to bite the bullet and actually pay for stinking cable, do my fair share to support the mega-billion-dollar media conglomerate as they try to take over the world.

I'm ticked off at the cable company for charging $45 a month for 60 channels that never have anything on, but I'm more pissed at my new neighbors. Because one of them, I know, probably wanted digital cable and sent for the cable guy so he could connect it all up. And when he did, he realized that someone in the building was getting free service and he decided to just pull the plug. Ugh. In doing so, he took the one perk of my increasing dreary, mundane life. Yay.

The one good thing is that it gives me more fuel for scowling at that little yappy dog.