The Emotional Inertia of an Asshole in a Closed System
I never realized that Newton's First Law of Motion could be applied to the people in my high school graduating class.
Think about it. Newton's law states, "Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it." People generally attribute this concept of inertia, which Galileo originated, to objects. A bowling ball on a frictionless surface would travel infinitely in a vacuum. A rock won't go anywhere unless someone or something moves it.
But if a physics teacher ever needs a prime example of the Newtonian/Galilean concept of inertia, he or she should really just invite Brian Smith into his classroom. This guy hasn't mentally moved since high school.
For the most part, I've accepted that things change in life. You grow up and somehow have more bills and less money to pay them. You gain some weight (maybe), watch friends marry other friends, visit the hospital when they have their first babies. You get a job, hone your skills, complain about politics and the weather. But I've always assumed that growing up implies emotional growth too. Maybe you develop strong political opinions or find God. You learn to speak at least semi-intelligently on subjects other than NASCAR. You start to like your parents or even (gasp!) siblings. You fall in love--real love, not just crazy sex on a beer buzz. You might possibly go so far as to wonder about life and what it all means. Do my actions impact others? Do I have a purpose? If so, what the hell is it?
Brian Smith has never thought these things. I don't remember him being dumb in high school, but he was definitely unmotivated. He didn't care about anything except where the next kegger was, who he would sleep with next and whether or not he could copy my homework. We didn't run in the same social circles, but with less than 70 people in our graduating class you could say that we knew each other. What set Brian apart from the other people in my class was that he didn't DO anything. He didn't play any sports or volunteer or join any clubs. But he also wasn't a troublemaker or any kind of problem to anyone. He basically sat around, copying homework and doing just enough to get him into the branch campus of a state college.
I saw Brian this past weekend and we talked for about five minutes, total, before I couldn't stand him anymore and had to run away. We hadn't spoken since about five years ago and during that conversation he was very much the belligerent drunk threatening to beat up his ex-girlfriend (who was with me at the time). At the wedding, I made the mistake of asking him if he'd given any thought to our class reunion. "Why the hell would I hang out with those bastards if I didn't have to," was his wonderfully articulate reply. He slurred out a few more obscenity-laced sentences and I'd had enough. I made my excuses and returned to my table.
So he's an asshole--that didn't surprise me. What did was how little the boy has grown in 10 years. He still talks like he did in high school, he hasn't developed any enlightened ideas since then, and gives no indication of being capable of any emotions but apathy and hate. He calls his girlfriend "Vag" because that's all she is to him. And she's so clueless that she thinks it's funny. To top it all off, he still doesn't do anything. He goes to work to pass the time between getting laid and getting drunk.
As I left him in my dust at the wedding, I couldn't help comparing my life to his. Sure, I'm a single-girl loser without much of a social life, but I operate in an open system where I feel the direct impact of outside forces. If someone hits me, I move. If someone hurts me, I cry. If someone teaches me, I learn. I can experience neither perpetual movement nor constant rest because eventually an outside force will act upon me and change my direction. I'll stop and start. I'm susceptible to the laws of motion.
But step right up ladies and gentlemen, because Brian Smith is truly one-of-a-kind among humans. Somehow he's created his own little closed system where he can stagnate forever without any impact from outside. Though it's virtually impossible on Earth, he's managed to create a situation where he can experience inertia without any outside force altering his direction. His brain is the rock that never moves. He might be safe--if you never mentally move, you can't really hurt--but he'll rot in the same place forever. And in the end, what will he have to show for it?
That's right. Absolutely nothing.
Think about it. Newton's law states, "Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it." People generally attribute this concept of inertia, which Galileo originated, to objects. A bowling ball on a frictionless surface would travel infinitely in a vacuum. A rock won't go anywhere unless someone or something moves it.
But if a physics teacher ever needs a prime example of the Newtonian/Galilean concept of inertia, he or she should really just invite Brian Smith into his classroom. This guy hasn't mentally moved since high school.
For the most part, I've accepted that things change in life. You grow up and somehow have more bills and less money to pay them. You gain some weight (maybe), watch friends marry other friends, visit the hospital when they have their first babies. You get a job, hone your skills, complain about politics and the weather. But I've always assumed that growing up implies emotional growth too. Maybe you develop strong political opinions or find God. You learn to speak at least semi-intelligently on subjects other than NASCAR. You start to like your parents or even (gasp!) siblings. You fall in love--real love, not just crazy sex on a beer buzz. You might possibly go so far as to wonder about life and what it all means. Do my actions impact others? Do I have a purpose? If so, what the hell is it?
Brian Smith has never thought these things. I don't remember him being dumb in high school, but he was definitely unmotivated. He didn't care about anything except where the next kegger was, who he would sleep with next and whether or not he could copy my homework. We didn't run in the same social circles, but with less than 70 people in our graduating class you could say that we knew each other. What set Brian apart from the other people in my class was that he didn't DO anything. He didn't play any sports or volunteer or join any clubs. But he also wasn't a troublemaker or any kind of problem to anyone. He basically sat around, copying homework and doing just enough to get him into the branch campus of a state college.
I saw Brian this past weekend and we talked for about five minutes, total, before I couldn't stand him anymore and had to run away. We hadn't spoken since about five years ago and during that conversation he was very much the belligerent drunk threatening to beat up his ex-girlfriend (who was with me at the time). At the wedding, I made the mistake of asking him if he'd given any thought to our class reunion. "Why the hell would I hang out with those bastards if I didn't have to," was his wonderfully articulate reply. He slurred out a few more obscenity-laced sentences and I'd had enough. I made my excuses and returned to my table.
So he's an asshole--that didn't surprise me. What did was how little the boy has grown in 10 years. He still talks like he did in high school, he hasn't developed any enlightened ideas since then, and gives no indication of being capable of any emotions but apathy and hate. He calls his girlfriend "Vag" because that's all she is to him. And she's so clueless that she thinks it's funny. To top it all off, he still doesn't do anything. He goes to work to pass the time between getting laid and getting drunk.
As I left him in my dust at the wedding, I couldn't help comparing my life to his. Sure, I'm a single-girl loser without much of a social life, but I operate in an open system where I feel the direct impact of outside forces. If someone hits me, I move. If someone hurts me, I cry. If someone teaches me, I learn. I can experience neither perpetual movement nor constant rest because eventually an outside force will act upon me and change my direction. I'll stop and start. I'm susceptible to the laws of motion.
But step right up ladies and gentlemen, because Brian Smith is truly one-of-a-kind among humans. Somehow he's created his own little closed system where he can stagnate forever without any impact from outside. Though it's virtually impossible on Earth, he's managed to create a situation where he can experience inertia without any outside force altering his direction. His brain is the rock that never moves. He might be safe--if you never mentally move, you can't really hurt--but he'll rot in the same place forever. And in the end, what will he have to show for it?
That's right. Absolutely nothing.